The first step in forgiving others is to realise that forgiveness is not for the other person…it’s for us. It does this by helping us to let go of our resentments and anger and thereby helping us to be happier and healthier. However this doesn’t always work. When we treat forgiveness as a gift that we are bestowing on the other then it misses the point. Forgiveness is not really something that we can do – it’s something that we find when we drop our resentments and open our hearts. Then we discover love and kindness and we forgive. The concept that it helps the other person when we can stand up and formally forgive someone; is really not true. Better to realise that we are all a bit short of being perfect and allow a bit of leeway in the behavior of others.
What’s the problem with non-forgiveness? And what does it do to our health/mind/body/spirit over time?
Not forgiving other people is one of the fastest ways to become ill. When we emotionally shut out other people we literally harden our heart muscle causing anxiety, insomnia and circulatory problems to name but a few. In addition, the anger we hold onto, congests our livers resulting in multiple problems including inflexibility. This can easily become a vicious cycle where anger fuels a closed heart and the closed heart further fuels anger. What’s a practical thing people can do to start the process of forgiveness?To start with – stop taking everything so seriously. Breathe a little and realize that you’re not perfect either. From here you could progress to the Tibetan Forgiveness meditation.
How does this practical technique work to allow forgiveness?
Letting go a little and realising a little help us to move on and to stop being nailed to the floor of our negative opinions. You are the first step of your bigger journey. Take it and thank your lucky stars that you are capable of forgiveness.
A simple technique to help open the heart is the Tibetan Forgiveness Meditation. In this meditation, first sit and find a place of stillness within yourself. If that feels impossible, sit and breathe deeply for nine breaths. Then visualise someone whom you unconditionally love standing in front of you. This can be your dog or cat, whoever gives you a feeling of warmth in your heart. Next, bring your friends into your visualisation and stay with the feeling of warmth in your heart. Then, while still feeling the heart’s love and warmth, add your family, then your acquaintances and finally those people that you have issues with. If you can stay with the feelings of the heart instead of the judgements of the mind, you will take a big step towards keeping yourself healthy and making your life beautiful and profound.
By Kevin Niv Farrow
Kevin is the Founder and Director of AcuEnergetics® as well as a Master AcuEnergetics® Practitioner and Teacher of AcuEnergetics®. Kevin has practised and studied meditation and the energetic system since 1974. He has taught since 2000 and his published writings, meditation CD’s and teachings have brought him worldwide recognition as a unique and practical meditation teacher and an expert in the field of energy medicine. He currently teaches in Australia, USA, India, Asia and Europe. For more information about Kevin, visit Kevin’s full biography.